Nithin writes chuthiyapa

 Hey folks,  I feel like venting, and I want to vent about multiple things. The thing you will be reading now will be a huge dump of all of my turbulent thoughts, which have been bothering me. There are no conclusions to take away from what is written here. If you like this and relate to this, I'm happy for you. If you don't care about any of this and you are wondering why the heck you should even care about all of this, I honestly still don't care because this is my personal space.  For the song of the blog, I have an album by my favourite artist, Fred Again. You can listen to the album here.  Well, the dream is to see him live one day. I think I have seen enough of his sets virtually. Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs in this album.  I don't know if it's just me, but have you also noticed the fact that people lately have gotten so shallow, like there is no depth to people anymore? Let me give an example of what I mean. Yesterday I was out with my boys, ...

This is my journal entry, hopefully things are still fresh in my mind and I remember what is what. Read along on this memoir of acid. To keep you engaged, as always, we have a song recommendation on the blog: Chroma 010 .  On June 8th at 11:30 AM, some of us friends decided to do mushrooms, the magic kind :).  Just before this, I was falling in and out of functional depression at its finest. Everything looked okay to the people around me, but things were just not okay. There was an intense feeling of loneliness which accompanied me; it was like I was here, but I was not here at the same time. I had started to be more forgetful and would have really bad periods of emotional lows every day.  Keeping active did help me control everything to a certain extent, but it was only to an extent. I knew I needed help, or things would surely get bad. While I did have my best friend who had always been an anchor to rely on and tell him that I was not ok, I still did not know what was w...

I have been thinking, and I realised I don't do that much, think that is. I don't know what is happening right now at this stage in my life. I don't know where to start. I don't know what I am writing about or why I am writing this, but I just know I need to put this out there for myself.  Hopefully, nobody reads this, but if you do, you can listen to this to keep yourself occupied:  Reanimator by Joji . I think Joji is perfect for the things I want to talk about.  Do you ever just get periods of prolonged loneliness, an extended period of time when you realise that you indeed are alone in life, maybe the people who have loved ones to care about might not be able to relate to what I am saying? I am talking about missing emotional intimacy, being wanted, longing for connections. Being a man, and being a brown Indian man at that, talking about all of this is seen as a hit on masculinity.  Well, I am going through that phase in life, but the best bit is I know it shall ...