Travel by a restless night :)

 Hey folks

A very happy day to you, to kick off your mood before you read my rant as always I have a music recommendation. 

In fact, this time around, I am just gonna recommend a band - Zimmer90. 

Today I am gonna talk about something that one of my close friends told me about which I also had some thoughts on. 

The way I grew up with the idea of love is very different from what I think my peers think is the idea of love. What I grew up with is knowing a connection, someone special to us, that is what love meant and it was something long-term. I don't know maybe it's all the white background rom-com from the 90s which fucked me over but that was definitely my idea of love.

The concept of all of these other ships did not exist back then, situationship and stuff, and I don't think I even understand that concept now. How can you be with someone who enjoys the perks of the relationship without being a tad bit attached? I have tried to understand the definition of that word more times than I would like to admit and it never made sense to me. I don't think it ever will either.   

I think there are just labels created by emotionally unavailable people to stroke their egos and self-needs. To argue that they are right and that there is nothing wrong with what they are doing. But the way I think of it, the sheer act of being selfless, is what makes a relationship great. But with these newfound concepts, the act of being selfless is still valued as long as it's the other person. The one who proposes the situationship won't be willing to adjust nor grow with the other person. They will be selfish. 

It is sad when you think about it, the only goal in that relationship now becomes purely transactional, one person gets attachment while the other person gets something physical. But I think what makes a relationship great is intimacy and I think these newfound concepts are downright harmful and brutal. 

It shows the fact that nobody can make their own decisions or choices, shows emotional unavailability and just like with an ouroboros, the more they indulge in this activity the more they think it's the right thing to do. But the truth is, I think with each person we have something physical with we leave a part of our soul with them. And the more you do this when the transaction is purely physical eventually you will be at a state where there is just a void left. You won't be able to understand what the emotions of the other person are. You stop valuing what you have. 

I think the series Normal People and the movie Nymphomaniac sums it pretty well. People who started off with pure concepts of love and connections eventually turned into a husk of what they actually were. Their principles changed. 

Again, this is not meant to target anyone. I am just voicing my personal opinion in my safe space. I could be wrong. My perspective may not match yours. 

Some other references: 

Sociosexual Orientation and Emotional Investment:

Research by Simpson and Gangestad (1991) is one of the early studies examining sociosexuality. They found that individuals with an “unrestricted” sociosexual orientation—meaning they’re more comfortable with casual sex—tend to score differently on measures of emotional closeness and commitment compared to those with a “restricted” orientation. This work suggests that people who report more sexual partners may also be less inclined toward deep emotional commitment in some contexts.