An innuendo of the end of February

This was honestly a shower thought, I sometimes get these random epiphanies but I rarely write with that in mind, and well I was not doing anything else so I thought I would act on it for a change.

To keep you company while reading this, you can listen to this song - Let Down by Radiohead

Since I last wrote something we are nearly on the brink of World War 3 and well I stopped keeping up with world politics, am convinced we are all doomed so I really don't even know who are our allies and who our enemies are. But I did learn about other things though, I learned more about myself and well, there could be things that other people can pick up from this as well.

I realised a very specific character flaw that I have which I always knew about is getting out of control, my people pleasing attitude. I have always known it was bad, and that people would walk all over me if I kept it around, yet I somehow still retain it. I have been taught to always smile and always be nice to people around me, well, that is something mom taught me. However, as I grew up, I started smiling more because well, we don't know how shitty the other person's day was, and if your smile makes their day, what is the harm in sparing a smile, it is not like you lose change :)

Although, I said what I said above, I am torn, I am described as a nice guy and the more I look into it, the more I understand that people don't really like nice people. But now the question is what qualifies as "nice", what defines a "nice" guy? Well, honestly I don't remember the last time I stood up for myself about anything. But that does not mean I let it be, I simply chose to walk away, I don't find the need to fight for acceptance anymore. Why did I do that?

"Pick your battles" this is the one piece of advice that was given to me when I was a 19 year old trigger happy employee in my first job. I did take those words to heart, I realised what it meant and I started biting my tongue, but now I keep trying to understand if I should start reacting, is it even worth it to keep the relationship I have struggled and tried so hard to retain. What purpose does it serve? Well, I already know if I need help the only people who would heed my call are my small circle of trusted friends and family.

Also, I have this speculative theory that collectively we have all gotten more dumb as members of society. If we all collectively lack self awareness, I don't think I should be too worried honestly. I observed this on Reddit, I think with the number of people it has it can be used as a representative sample of the general society. The kind of brain rot content on that platform right now is insane, granted it does have a huge bot problem. To add on to that, the fact that I see more people collectively overestimating their abilities that at this point I have lost all faith in humanity.

All of this could also just be me overusing the devil's lettuce too much. On that fine note, bye!