Nithin writes chuthiyapa

Here I am, high as a kite, watching a movie explaining the meaning of life is live life, good moments and all. Do do things, to meet friends, to eat good food, enjoy the small things in life. Who thought I’d get this thought from a movie, on a Sunday evening, of a random week :)

This was honestly a shower thought, I sometimes get these random epiphanies but I rarely write with that in mind, and well I was not doing anything else so I thought I would act on it for a change. To keep you company while reading this, you can listen to this song - Let Down by Radiohead Since I last wrote something we are nearly on the brink of World War 3 and well I stopped keeping up with world politics, am convinced we are all doomed so I really don't even know who are our allies and who our enemies are. But I did learn about other things though, I learned more about myself and well, there could be things that other people can pick up from this as well. I realised a very specific character flaw that I have which I always knew about is getting out of control, my people pleasing attitude. I have always known it was bad, and that people would walk all over me if I kept it around, yet I somehow still retain it. I have been taught to always smile and always be nice to p...

I seldom write anymore, not because I don't want to, mostly because I can't. I think it was because of one of two things: all the unfinished drafts I have in this blog and even the last blog post I have in this blog, everything feels so low effort to me. There is no depth in it, as if there was no life in what I was writing, and I know it's true. Or the fact that I don't think it matters. Life is at an impasse, and I was thinking it was just for me, but it turns out that's not really the case. I was talking to one of my close friends/mentors, and he was super depressed about it as well. He said, and I quote, "It's as if life has no volatility anymore, nothing is exciting. It's like we are in low IV markets." I couldn't agree more with him. There are signs which point to impending doom, and we are acting as blind as we always have been about it. I don't think the general populace understands how bad things are, which is worrying. The world w...

3rd February 2026, that’s when I’m writing this, in the backseat of an auto on the way to the bus stop to go back to Kerala. Bangalore was always a mixed bag for me; I was never really fond of the place. Think of a small town boy, who didn’t know what traffic was, what bad roads were, and what crowds were, being here in the ever-developing Bangalore! I mean, the last time I came here, the place ended in Whitefield. Now it’s almost till Tamil Nadu. This time I came here to chill. Unlike all the other times when I came to visit somebody, this time I was actually just here to relax. All thanks to the little-known band Linkin Park coming to India for the first time ever! I almost forgot to keep you occupied while reading whatever this is, you can play this song . The entire trip just sent me on a time jump. The emotions I have right now are the same ones I had when I was quite young and went to visit my relatives. You know the feeling where you know you are here, safe, with family, with pe...

Happy new year, people. Wishing everyone a happy 2026. And, this cute whatever this is turned 1, yey!  I have a lot in my drafts for this blogger. I couldn't bring myself to write anymore since Joel left; things have changed so much. A lot of things have happened, and I have changed a lot too, a whole lot more than I thought.  Well, anyways, I seem to have refound that vigor in life that I lost, and I thought I'd write and try and get something published before the newfound vigor goes away. As always, to keep you grooving, you need to have a song for the blog. The song for the blog is this .  Things were not looking all hunky-dory at the end of 2025, but then my folks left for a month, leaving me alone in a huge home for a month, and I honestly think that was the best thing that could have happened to me this whole year. It was like being forced to recalibrate yourself.  I always had people around me; if it was not Joel, it was always someone else. Then I made my cir...

“Man is a social animal.” Aristotle said this; he knew that humans are social creatures who rely on and thrive in the presence of others. And I want to write about one of the best human beings on this planet. My best friend.  Well, to make sure you are not bored while you read this, you can listen to this amazing little song. For the longest time of my life I had no concept of a best friend; I hardly knew what that meant. When I was a kid, I did call people my best friends, but I never understood the depth of those seemingly simple words. Back then, my best friend was just someone who I liked more than my other friends—that's it. But well, life works in mysterious ways.  I don't remember how Joel and I became friends. Joel was my school senior, senior,  not even a classmate. I used to know him as the only other kid in school with an iPhone, and this was in the iPhone 4 era, so think late 2010s. He changed schools after 10th grade, and so did I, but somehow we still m...

I was going through a very tough phase of my life, everything had plateaued, I had nothing to look up to. I was not very fond of the fact that the place I live in basically exploits us with the façade that it is modern day slavery. Work your ass off as a corporate slave just to feed the government your tax money and get treated like crap in return. What I am talking about is how we seem to be paying top dollar for poor quality goods and poor quality life. But alas, I have found strength and regained my vigour to continue living. With the intro out of the way, let me start with the music recommendation of the blog: tell you straight by jigitz . Also I think this artist is amazing do listen to the album here .  In the past few weeks/months I realised that I had lost the drive to do pretty much everything. This is a place of my life which I often find myself ending up in quite frequently. The negative self-talk and overthinking. Today though it had gotten really bad. Due to the n...

This is honestly a rant. I know, I rant a lot but but this is something that has crushed me more than I realised.  To get you in the groove, you can listen to this new track I found by Swimming Paul. You can also watch the music video; it's so well put together.  Okay, then, let me just get straight to the point. I don’t think I’m the typical cool guy. You know the cool guys that you see and hear about, the crowd-puller, the ladies' man, the extrovert, the party guy—all that Jazz. There are a few key people who made me who I am. And this is a story about one of those circles.  When I was growing up, till the age of say 16, I did not have any friends near my home. In fact, even when I’m writing this now at the age of 24, I still don’t know who my neighbours’ kids are.  The place where I grew up is not really well known for the kind of people who stay here. What I mean by that is the culture of the people here is borderline vulgar. Sure, there are a few diamo...

 Hey folks,  I feel like venting, and I want to vent about multiple things. The thing you will be reading now will be a huge dump of all of my turbulent thoughts, which have been bothering me. There are no conclusions to take away from what is written here. If you like this and relate to this, I'm happy for you. If you don't care about any of this and you are wondering why the heck you should even care about all of this, I honestly still don't care because this is my personal space.  For the song of the blog, I have an album by my favourite artist, Fred Again. You can listen to the album here.  Well, the dream is to see him live one day. I think I have seen enough of his sets virtually. Pay attention to the lyrics of the songs in this album.  I don't know if it's just me, but have you also noticed the fact that people lately have gotten so shallow, like there is no depth to people anymore? Let me give an example of what I mean. Yesterday I was out with my boys, ...

This is my journal entry, hopefully things are still fresh in my mind and I remember what is what. Read along on this memoir of acid. To keep you engaged, as always, we have a song recommendation on the blog: Chroma 010 .  On June 8th at 11:30 AM, some of us friends decided to do mushrooms, the magic kind :).  Just before this, I was falling in and out of functional depression at its finest. Everything looked okay to the people around me, but things were just not okay. There was an intense feeling of loneliness which accompanied me; it was like I was here, but I was not here at the same time. I had started to be more forgetful and would have really bad periods of emotional lows every day. Keeping active did help me control everything to a certain extent, but it was only to an extent. I knew I needed help, or things would surely get bad. While I did have my best friend who had always been an anchor to rely on and tell him that I was not ok, I still did not know what was wrong a...

I have been thinking, and I realised I don't do that much, think that is. I don't know what is happening right now at this stage in my life. I don't know where to start. I don't know what I am writing about or why I am writing this, but I just know I need to put this out there for myself.  Hopefully, nobody reads this, but if you do, you can listen to this to keep yourself occupied:  Reanimator by Joji . I think Joji is perfect for the things I want to talk about.  Do you ever just get periods of prolonged loneliness, an extended period of time when you realise that you indeed are alone in life, maybe the people who have loved ones to care about might not be able to relate to what I am saying? I am talking about missing emotional intimacy, being wanted, longing for connections. Being a man, and being a brown Indian man at that, talking about all of this is seen as a hit on masculinity.  Well, I am going through that phase in life, but the best bit is I know it shall ...

 Hey folks,  I think I hit writer's block or something. I have a lot of unfinished drafts in my blog and can't seem to write about anything in particular. By the time I start writing about this, I go, yep, this does not matter and just chuck the blog. But this time it will be different, this time I shall write the whole thing, and I shall succeed!  Like always, to get you guys grooving, listen to this: I woke up in my Pink Floyd era again, so the song is Money by Pink Floyd Let's look at how 2025 is going for the world, so Trump has turned the whole global trade scene into a shit show, India almost went to war with Pakistan, Covid-19 cases started going up, a ship with toxic chemicals fell on the Arabian sea and will hit the coast of Kerala soon. Well, that is an excellent amount of bad news lol.  Seems like 2025 has not just been bad for me, it has been bad for everyone out there, I mean god darn it my man, cut people some slack, like holy shit. Well, let's look at ...

 Hey people, 2025 has been a series of bad lucks; the streak of bad lucks has been so bad at this point that I am taking it as a meme. And I feel like venting about it as it gives me solace and might as well stretch my vocabulary in the process, lol. Someone told me writing is a good exercise.  Before we begin the song of the blog: Time by Pink Floyd, Please do spend time focusing on the lyrics . So let's start with the core root of all of this (this is a joke), which, in my opinion, is something one of my old friends said. This was back when I was in 8th grade, and I had a school senior named Ayesha. It was my birthday, and she told me, "Don't get yelled at by your teachers today; it will bring misfortune for the entire year," and then she explained how we should make sure our birthday and the beginning of the year go well.  Being an atheist, I did not care about it, and to be honest, I don't think I care even now, but hey, it did strike me then, and I keep getti...

Hey folks, I had promised myself that I would never write about love ever again, but bro, when my life is a more immense tragedy than what Shakespeare could ever dream about might as well write about it and vent the fuck out right!  Let's start with the song for the blog, like always: did you/fall apart .  I'll start with a story. This was when I was Panchgani there was a guy named Nikunj there, (Fuck you Nikunj) when we met he did not know I was Muslim, and I am not Muslim to be honest, I have never identified myself with that religion nor will I ever.  I had faced issues related to Islamophobia before when I was travelling, so I had the habit of not telling people my full name. We were hanging out, and eventually, he asked me for my Instagram. And this was at that point when I actually had an Instagram account of my own. He saw my full name on my Instagram profile and goes, "Thu musalman hai kya?". And his whole demeanour changed. Similarly, when I was Vashist, I wa...

 Hey,  I think this will be my final vent regarding the topic of love, I have decided to quit. At least dating apps are something I don't think I want to partake in anymore.  Let's start off with a music recommendation for the blog - I Miss You by Blink-182 .   I was on and off in multiple dating apps, primarily Bumble, and looks like how it ends up is always a pattern, people just go there to boost self-confidence at least here in Kochi, Kerala. Also a tip for anyone who plans to use this, as a guy get premium this helps in discoverability.  As a girl, you will be bombarded with so many likes that you wouldn't know what to do.  I think it's because of the vast options, I think people get decision fatigue on that app, so many options. I think if we make a dating app addressing these problems it should actually help bring in connections. But I don't think it will be a profitable business model.  Let me explain what am talking about, the theory is c...

 Hey folks A very happy day to you, to kick off your mood before you read my rant as always I have a music recommendation.  In fact, this time around, I am just gonna recommend a band - Zimmer90 .  Today I am gonna talk about something that one of my close friends told me about which I also had some thoughts on.  The way I grew up with the idea of love is very different from what I think my peers think is the idea of love. What I grew up with is knowing a connection, someone special to us, that is what love meant and it was something long-term. I don't know maybe it's all the white background rom-com from the 90s which fucked me over but that was definitely my idea of love. The concept of all of these other ships did not exist back then, situationship and stuff, and I don't think I even understand that concept now. How can you be with someone who enjoys the perks of the relationship without being a tad bit attached? I have tried to understand the definition of that w...

 Hi, how is your day going people? Hopefully, it's amazing because I know I had an amazing day.  So this is what happened. Remember the ex, I told you about. Looks like she suddenly realised that I was something good that had happened in her life. Apparently, she went back on Bumble 10 days after we broke up and then started to realise men only want one thing and nothing else. See kids this is why you should not fuck over something when it goes well, learn to reciprocate other people's feelings.  Today I want to talk about imbalance. The imbalance of feelings :)  Before we start here is the song of the day, and it's K-Pop. Rainy Runaway by KIRINJI .  Now, let's start.  Yesterday a friend of mine sent me a really beautiful  Quora article. I am attaching it here . The crux of the article was about self-improvement and the dynamics of people in relationships. It's a very interesting read please do give it a chance if you can.  What I realised is when...

Thanks for tuning into this, I don’t know what this is but hopefully, it will have a structure. A beginning, a middle and an end. To get you all into the grove of this article and to help you wind down let me start off with a music recommendation:  Right down the line by Gerry Rafferty Now that we have the tunes in let's go down the rabbit hole am planning to dive in.  Fortune/ Luck is such a weird concept. How do you define luck? I think the interpretation of this word is vast and varied. Today the focus of my understanding of the word Luck will be the concept that a series of unplanned events which could have turned disastrous just works out in your favour and helps you let you go off the hook without much damage.  I believe I am a very lucky man, there have been N number of instances when my luck has helped me avoid periods of intense pain. But there has always been a part where my luck has not really worked out in any way.  It has been relationships, as in romant...